And so even with blogging, I have had over a dozen blogs in the past 15 years, none of which being all encompassing - all of them being focused on a segment on my life. Life, love, ambitions, frustrations, creativity - all were channeled through various blogs all written in a dedicated style with dedicated audience. All with varying degrees of success.
I find myself now thinking seriously about my life - perhaps an internal conversation which is 2 years too late since people usually thinking about life at 30. Not me, well perhaps rightfully so, I was enjoying the last peak of the old era at 30. I was in love, seemingly successful and deluded with apparently invulnerability. But life has a way of correcting things.
"What is destined will reach you, even if it be underneath two mountains. What is not destined, will not reach you, even if it be between your two lips!"
In the past 6 months or so I have come to realise the truth and power of this proverb, since I have long denied some "destiny" while pursuing some crazy dreams. I actually called this "the error", because I honestly believed that there was something wrong with the world that was keeping me from what I wanted. But this was not the case - there was no error, just wrong judgement on my part. The world had been fighting me to stop denying my true self and to focus on the path which is right.
I can't for certain say where this path will lead however I know that it is a path that is leading me away from the life I've known for so long now. Towards what...I do not know for now. What I do know though is that there is a very simple and clear roadmap with a clear and simple guiding principle. I'll start with the latter...the guiding principle is that there is One Goal in line with the Laws of One God. The path is that there will be tears, then pain, then fire and last water.
I have one goal in my life - legacy. Nothing more than that - I don't care for fame or hugs or whatever, I only care about leaving a lasting, trans-generational, legacy for my family. History - at least for my family - will remember me. Legacy in all resources from knowledge to monetary shall benefit those who come after me.
I am a Catholic man and I will always adhere to the Laws of our Church. Aside from a few odd cults I am very fond of all beliefs in the world, because they give guidance and strength to people, but none other than Catholicism shall receive my support and involvement. I believe in the Christian God and his laws are my guide in all that I do.
The path to this goal shall take the form of 4 very distinct sections in my life; The age of tears shall come first. This is the time of mourning for all that I have built in my time of being lost. The "dashed" hopes and dreams - the many "almosts"- the life which I thought I was building in this place, with these people, etc. The tears will be shed by me as well as those who I have formed relationships with that may have to end because they are in-congruent with the One Goal. This time will be the most challenging because there will be so much uncertainty in my life however this phase shall also be the shortest, lasting between 3 - 12 months.
The age of pain will follow. While perhaps taking more effort than the time before it, the age of pain shall be a beautiful time, despite its hardship. Like the pain of pregnancy and birth - it shall be a time of flux and challenge but all for a reason. It shall be the time that I come to grips with my new reality and build the foundation for the One Goal. It will be the time that I rediscover what it is to be of One Mind (under the One Goal) and leave behind my segmented view of the world. I will work harder in this time than I have ever done in my life, but it shall be this work that will fuel the One Goal. This age will last between 12 - 36 months.
The fuel from the pain shall one day ignite into an inferno. The age of fire will be the time when my hard work and pain will culminate in the destiny I have for so long denied. Suddenly it will seem like I have gained overnight success - romance, career, life, finances - all will ignite into an inspiring blaze that will inspire me and all those who come into contact with me. People will be in awe, people will be drawn to the flames for warmth, guidance and power. The age of fire shall be the first time that (most) people will realize the One Goal and that it is inevitable. In this age I will seem unstoppable, infallible - a beacon for many to rally towards. This age will last between 5 - 10 years.
Lastly the water will come and calm the wild fires down. It will wash away all that has died under the flames, all who have gathered around the flames who do not support the One Goal and all the arrogance that I may have gained because of my success. The water shall take what is left from the fire and combine it with the pain of old to create stability, growth and lasting legacy. The water shall nourish the growth of the One Goal. The water shall be both caring and destructive - being able to grow successful partnerships as well as wash away failure. The age of water shall last long after my death, till the end of time - God willing.
This blog shall, hopefully, form the platform under which I chronicle these ages and narrate the path towards the One Goal. I pray that the Lord stays with me, that my mind remains united and that the goal is attained in this lifetime.